"Good morning, dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to watch two people we know, make a big mistake. They'll stand up at the altar and solemnly swear,'I do'. They'll be together 'til they find somebody new. Her dad's in the front row muttering, 'oh no here we go again, they had a couple dates now she's three months late and its twenty bucks a plate I spent, oh'. Good morning, dearly beloved, I'd like to welcome you all, to see the side effects of sex and alcohol. Please bow your heads and join me, in a prayer for these two, who'll be together forever, 'til they find somebody new. The bride is a flirt, and the groom is worse, as he's putting the ring on her, he's checkin' out the bridesmaids, thinking that he might take the maid of honor's honor, oh. Welcome, dearly beloved, we are here this afternoon, to throw rice as these two drive down the road to ruin, with cans tied to the bumper and a draggin' muffler too, they'll be together forever, 'til they find somebody new. So raise your glass and join me, here's to the bride and groom, they'll be together forever, 'til they find somebody new"
