God damn-red brick, boy who cried wolf, my thin fingers-one more time, scream at the top of my lungs for the first time in yearsm yes you are that good, the way you squeezed my hand just a little right after i got off the plane, my all-time wishlist-milemarkers, there are no words no language, suitable to discribe you, i know i am so difficult, do everything you tell me not to, don't listen, don't shut my mouth, im learning,i want to be so much better for you, i know i do almost everything wrong, i really do just want you to be happy, cared for, loved so well, i know it seems like i will never stop being this way, have faith in me, i don't deserve it but i will get it right, i will get this right

The ghost dont live here anymore

Getting sued again. Dirty airports great us in vigorously. Flying across the country. Somewhere between all this we say something about wanting to stay

how many of you are out there, waiting? You didn't fight for me, not, even, once. None of you did. When I said "good bye" you said "oh, fair well"

Lately, it's been like when your favorite t.v. show goes to shit. They get new characters or a new director and it just isn't the same. You are not sure what happened or where this is going and nothing you feel leads to any conclusions. The cigarettes are not enough and four cups of coffee does nothing. You begin to think about the person you loved a year ago, the one who always drew up diagrams of all the ways you were going to spend the rest of your lives, drowning in idealism, a hotel room and that one pack of matches you can't throw away

My youth was found in disgusting apartments and pabst blue ribbon. Kissing girls that were years older than myself, lying about my age and passing out on the bathroom floor. I started smoking, i started lying, things were going great. I felt better than i ever had, line after line, bed after bed, i never did too much and was on top of my game, always one step ahead of even myself. But soon there would be nothing new to do. Everyone would know my name, my sins and who i slept with. Oh the price of being young

Looking at trashy magazines and longboarding is all i've been doing lately

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself

I'm standing on a bridge in the town where i lived as a kid with my mom and my brothers and then the bridge disappears and i'm standing on air with nothing holding me. i hang like a star fuckin' glow'n' in the dark for all the starving eyes to see. like the ones we've wished on. Now i'm confused. is this death really you? do these dreams have any meaning? i think it's more like a ghost that's been following us both. something vague that we're not seeing. something more like a feeling

please dont take him even though you can

Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene. Im begging of you please dont take my man. Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene. Please dont take him just because you can. Your beauty is beyond compare, With flaming locks of auburn hair, With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green. Your smile is like a breath of spring, Your voice is soft like summer rain, And I cannot compete with you, jolene. He talks about you in his sleep, Theres nothing I can do to keep, From crying when he calls your name, jolene. And I can easily understand, How you could easily take my man, But you dont know what he means to me, jolene. Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene, Im begging of you please dont take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene, Please dont take him just because you can. You could have your choice of men, But I could never love again, Hes the only one for me, jolene. I had to have this talk with you, My happiness depends on you, And whatever you decide to do, jolene. Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene, Im begging of you please dont take my man, Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene, Please dont take him even though you can. Jolene, jolene

"Maybe if i was british and fucked on heroin it'd get me somewhere"

Everybody wants her, but she wants me. Im out of cigarettes and she's out of cocaine, we hate each others friends but love each others enemies. She's horribly perfect for me

You always bring me to the same spot when we had to talk. The conversation would mostly be minute statements followed by grueling silence. The cold air would be tense around our ears and lips as if we knew a killer statement would strike and we would change letters to meaning something bad? Good? Who knew at this point? We puffed away at our cigarettes in the snowy spot we picked as the silence remained. We never did talk that other day

Ever passerby has its story. My story starts on wooden bench waiting for something to come. I had disappointed someone and I felt nothing but the eyes of the common man, beaming down me as I waited for the train. Tears streamed down my face as she told me not to come tonight. The convenient store owner worked away into the midnight oil. A man had just broke his glasses. A couple meet for an embrace. The bag I held no longer hurt to carry. I now had a new burden. My story ends with a lonely walk and cigarette in hand. Not all stories must have a happy ending

Broken glass on the floor. shattered dreams along side. Surprises aren’t always a good thing. you try to pick up the glass, but the pieces seem to have spread endlessly across the floor. you stare at the pieces hoping it would all just gather itself into a solid again. you know that will never happen. you must go in and pick up the pieces, bloody hands and all, because who else is going to do it?

"Don’t criticize what you can’t understand"

Went to a party last night. The most random assortment of people in one area, drinking coors light and playing beer pong. Had fun after I had a brush with euphoria. Some douche bag from High School was terribly drunk and told a group of us that he had his whole life planned out for the next 5 years. I wanted to just punch in the face after several minutes of rambling to tell him that nothing is life is definite and to stop smoking Parliaments, you sack of shit

I wish there were glasses for people who were blind from the truth

Everyone seems to be distraught these past few days. all i want to do is sit on a rooftop with some friends and discuss it all. every nook and cranny out in the open. exposed to our minds as we slip on a drink or two and fly high in the skies for hours. the image, yet almost made atypical by the apathy in peers, is exactly what i need right now. friends& fun. for one moment when we aren’t searching for a way up or down, but more ways to make this feeling last. you know that feeling. that floating, i-don’t-think-i-have-any-plans-for-today-so-let’s-do-something feeling. i want to make feeling so lost feel okay. just a moment. that’s all i’m asking for

We wrote postcards to no one

Times I wish I had a bike: to ride to a girl’s house on summer nights

We are all pirates at heart

Imagine you were Rip Van Winkle for a moment. Waking from a wild, drunken night with complete stranger playing nine pins, only to find you now have a beard, your wife is dead and the American Revolution happenned during your 20 year nap. What a nap that was. Change happens. Change is only good when their is a combination of renevation and a full understanding of motions of the past. Would you be able to take a 20 year nap nowadays? Would the air even be liveable? Will rhetoric and bickering stop controlling politics? It’s weird when a German folklore adapted by an American writer can make even more of a need for me to find out what I should be doing with my life and show me even more how much I want to make good change

Jack of many trades, master of none

I haven’t answered a call or message because i don't give a fuck. I’ve been on several walks today, got new shoes and listened to as much music as i can to distract my thought, but alas, nothing works. it’s going to be a rough weekend to say the least

We built this city on rock and roll

I'd like to meet someone real. Because for the first time in years this is fact not fiction

You are far from the truth

Maybe if i didn’t fuck up so much before… fuck there it goes again. another person blaming the past for the hole they are in now. i know that everything, even something great or awful is temporary in this life. i’m just sick of being stuck in what-the-fuck-should-i-do-with-my-life hotel. rent’s hard to pay after several months

no, you girls will never know how you make a boy feel

I’m not much of a drinker, but times change. You break up pieces of thoughts in your head and you wonder what broke it up in the first place. I’m drunk with words. Phrases of a good morrow linger over a cloud of doubt. I am getting sloppy. Thoughts pour from my mouth to a brim of a cold glass. I’m intoxicated with fear. Opening my letters to this world is all I want to do, but I’m afraid there’s nothing left in this half-full world

Well, I've got friends in all the wrong places

"My tea’s getting cold. i’ve been watching the bright faces of the streets for hours now. a man in a suit helps a young lady with a red hat with her raincoat. my joints ache. i can’t help, but wonder about how they smile at each other. i’ve got class in twenty minutes. i go to this cafe a few blocks from my private school every day for a sandwich and tea. why are so many people my age worried about love? we are young, we are creative, we have so much time ahead of us, yet there’s never a journal left untouched by the lonely young adult who doesn’t understand why they are alone on a friday night. i just don’t understand why there is so many people who feel lonely. high school relationships rarely work out and you actually think you will find love on the floor of a college dorm? you can rationalize it all you want, because we all do have countless opportunities ahead of us, but for some reason saying that doesn’t make it hurt any less. what it really boils down to is you’ve got to stop being a pussy to get some pussy, but i’m still working on that. here’s hoping i get a date for homecoming. look at me, caring about homecoming when you haven’t been to a sporting event since freshman year. that’s what happens when you get to senior year at a hellhole and you feel like you’ve been missing out these past few years because you were scared and holy shit, I am going to late"

When and why did 'rage' become a term to party hard?

Leaders should lead as far as they can and then vanish. Their ashes should not choke the fire they have lit

I love the smell of autumn

Is your bed made? Is your sweater on? Do you want to f… Like you know I do

why'd you have to go and turn to ice

Calculated rooms with pictures of you in your sable dress, sitting on the edge of the bed, maybe even the world. Maybe your rosy cheeks hold the answer to my heart. I’ve only got negatives of you, brought to life, to keep my balance

That’s just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it

What people are ashamed of, usually makes a good story

i wanna rock, rock

I want to punch myself so i can wake myself up. i am so frustrated with myself. What steps are next? and why the fuck can’t i see them clearly enough so i can do them? fuck, oh well. time to watch house for hours

Don't underestimate

Just when you think you know me, you are thinking wrong, cause i will never let anyone fucking know me, there is no use, i would rather remain a question mark for all the world to see, i would rather not exist and have no purpose in this fucking thing we call life, learn to get your own fucking opinion instead of living off others